Eric and Ernie's Musical Extravaganzas

Article by Brian Slade

In the world of nostalgia, Channel 5 and the various nostalgia channel incarnations are frequently firing off top 10, top 20 and ‘best moments’ compilation programmes. Everyone has their favourite moment from the likes of Vicar of Dibley, Only Fools and Horses and Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em. The problem is, when trying to nail down a favourite anything of Morecambe and Wise it becomes rather tricky, given just how many iconic moments they provided over the years. They of course had hysterical banter with their guests – ‘Elton John? Sounds like an exit on the motorway’ and such memorable lines as ‘He won’t sell many ice creams going at that speed,’ but for the purposes of this article, it’s time to focus on their musical skills. What perhaps set them apart from other acts was their song and dance skills from years of treading the boards. That they managed to persuade so many guests to join them in these routines is a testament to their skills, although one doubts too much persuasion was actually needed.

Time then to throw it to the audience. Here are ten options for your favourite Morecambe and Wise song and dance routine, which means no room for Andrew Preview or Frankie Vaughan’s dalliance with the Harpenden Hotshots! Which one gets your vote as Eric and Ern’s finest Musical Extravaganza?

How Could You Believe Me…

Little Ern’s play that brought the 1975 Christmas special to a close was a historical one starring Diana Rigg as Nell Gwynne (as she was six months behind with the rent) and Gordon Jackson. After a play that included Ern as Samuel Pepys and Eric as King Charles II, complete with puppet dog and limericks starting along the lines of ‘She’s known as Nell down in Camberwell, she drives men out of their wits…’ the conclusion of the play is a fencing routine between Eric and Ern’ before they are joined by Rigg for a rendition of Fred Astaire’s How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You?, along with some ever expanding cuffs for Eric!

You Were Never Lovelier

Glenda Jackson became one of the best loved guests of Eric and Ernie courtesy of the famous Anthony and Cleopatra send-up, uttering that immortal line from one of those plays wot Ernie wrote, ‘All men are fools, and what makes them so is having beauty like what I have got.’ But it wasn’t Glenda’s only involvement. She was given the full elaborate musical routine in the 1971 Christmas special, the rose between two thorns as the boys danced around her with Eric’s cane getting progressively longer each time it was thrown back to him. And of course, a procession of personalities lined up in their top hat and tails to herald the routine, each ‘singing’ the word lovelier as they trotted off camera. If the sight of Patrick Moore trying to delicately exit the stage in his best Hollywood musical style doesn’t make you chuckle, call your doctor immediately.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

In the 1973 Christmas episode, Vanessa Redgrave followed in her father’s footsteps in joining Eric and Ern for what she believed was appearing in a Herbie Wise play. (Michael Redgrave could play those spoons…dessert spoons as well, they can be painful if you miss.) After persuading Vanilla Rednose not to make demands on changing the play from Herbie’s original text, Ernie announces that before doing the play (Napoleon and Josephine – cannonballs supplied by Fanny Cradock) they would do a Latin American extravaganza. Despite the potential problems in the height difference between Vanilla and Herbie, the trio put on a glorious version of Doris Day’s Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps, complete with Eric’s uncontrollable maracas.

The Stripper

It’s a dreary morning in the flat for Eric and Ernie. Eric’s cereal box collapses into his bowl and there’s an awful member of the public on the radio trying to guess a song – ‘get off’. But this often-missed entertaining preamble is widely acknowledged as comedy gold as the DJ plays David Rose’s The Stripper. What follows is Eric and Ern making and clearing breakfast in time with the famous tune, building to the crescendo as they remove two strings of sausages from the fridge. Despite Ernie in later years claiming he got the timing wrong when catching the toast from the toaster, it remains as close to comedy perfection as there is.

My Blue Heaven

Sometimes the best ideas and the simplest and that certainly applied to a purely dance routine the boys did to the music of My Blue Heaven. With just the right number of dancers in top hat and tails to fill the stage in single file from one side to the other, the addition of the boys meant there were just two too many. What follows is a battle from both Eric and Ernie to get seen, culminating in Eric getting into a physical battle with one of the dancers before the curtain drops. Simple and perfect Morecambe and Wise.

Singin’ in the Rain

Before Eric and Ernie met, Ernie was a song and dance man, touring with his father. For his entire career he was fascinated by the idea of conquering Hollywood, while Eric was of course far more content to remain in England. The happy middle ground came in the 1976 Christmas Special. Ernie shows just how much he brings to the act as he performs Singin’ in the Rain on a set mirroring the infamous Gene Kelly musical routine, except of course without any water. That’s saved for policeman Eric, observing with bafflement the performance and getting soaked at intervals by buckets of water, leaking drainpipes and collected canopy water, before fully immersing himself in a tub of water. It’s Ernie at his finest and is one of the boys’ most famous musical routines.

You’re Adorable

In the modern world of reality tv and shows like Strictly Come Dancing and The Masked Singer, seeing TV presenters out of their comfort zone is a common sight. But back in 1976, such occasions were slim. One of the first to famously emerge from their own BBC pigeonhole was Angela Rippon, the face of BBC evening news at the time. Angela appeared with Eric and Ern performing You’re Adorable, proving that she had legs and talent beyond a stoic face while reading the news. And as they head off the stage, I’m sure Eric was drifting into adlib as he randomly selects different letter from the famous song.

The Fleet’s In

One of the real joys of the many guests on The Morecambe and Wise Show was that they were quite content for the boys to have free rein in how they involved them, such was their joy to be on the show. Des O’Connor is of course well-known for having loved the friendly banter Eric threw his way, but another who got the musical rejection from him was Cliff Richard. In their seventh BBC series, Ernie attempted to get ‘with it’ by inviting Cliff to the flat to show him his song and dance skills, playing Living Doll to impress his guest. It prompts Eric to yell ‘turn that rubbish off’ before turning to Cliff and saying, ‘I can’t stand that fella!’ After the comical antics in the flat, the three step out onto the set of a Naval ship and into a routine of The Fleet’s In, with buckets and mops and ending with Cliff disappearing into the sea!

Hey Big Spender

Sometimes Eric and Ernie could fool you into thinking that a guest was going to get away with a straight performance with no outside interference. One such event was in the 1975 Christmas Show. Singer Brenda Arnau was little known, and she had no direct interaction with the boys as she belted out Hey Big Spender…but then we cut to the ladies performing at the dancers’ barre. Smack dab in the middle, Morecambe and Wise. For such simplicity, Eric and Ernie performing there in wigs and miniskirts, Eric even chewing gum, is a hysterical sight.

There Is Nothing Like a Dame

Although nobody knew it at the time, Morecambe and Wise were set to jump ship to ITV after the 1977 Christmas show. What better way to sign off then than probably their best-known ensemble song and dance routine? The song was South Pacific’s There Is Nothing Like a Dame and the cast list aside from the boys again contained a selection of BBC presenters rather than performers. We were treated to the likes of Barry Norman, Frank Bough, Eddie Waring and Michael Aspel in their finest navy whites seemingly singing and dancing through the song before the stern newsreader giant Peter Woods delivered the song’s final line. It’s right up there for production values, choreography and comedy as one of their finest moments.

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